To Whom it May Concern

Working in a jail provides a writer an abundance of material, everything from characters to situations to catch phrases. The trick of course is to figure out how to use them without being too obvious and pissing off the people you work with. And then sometimes you have to be careful not to upset your wife.

One day we were cleaning out some files and came across a letter that was sent to an inmate, but the writer didn't list the inmates name in the address and no return address. Why it was kept I don't know, but being curious in nature I decided to read said letter for some clues.
The letter was from some love sick girl who babbled on about how she couldn't wait for the unknown inmate to get out so they could live happily ever after in some single-wide. Okay, she didn't say single-wide, but I think it's a pretty safe assumption especially considering...
At the end of the sappy ramblings I hit gold! This would be something, somehow I would use in my writing and it goes like this:
"I have a little something for when you get out. I got some of those edible panties and can't wait for you to use them. Unless I get a case of the munchies and eat them myself."
What?!!! That is awesome! Up to that point I had never heard of anyone getting the "munchies" so bad that they decided to break open their edible panties. I would have never in a million years thought of something like this.
So I decide that since this is headed for the trash I might as well hold on to it. When I get home there's the junk drawer that I empty my pockets into, keys, wallet, eye drops, letter, chap stick, etc.
Days go by and I forget about this white-trash correspondence. That is until my wife decides to clean out the junk drawer and comes across it.
"What the hell is this?"
I turn to see her waving the letter at me.
"Isn't it funny?"
"No!"
Then it dawns on me that unless you know that this thing was sent to a jail you're not going to know who the intended recipient was. "No, no, no. That's not for me. It was an old letter that had no names or addresses."
The wife still giving me the evil eye says, "And why do you have it?"
"You gotta read the last paragraph, it's priceless."
She does, still doesn't find the humor in it, and tosses it on the counter.
"What? Come on, munchies, edible panties. That's good stuff!"
The wife walks away shaking her head.

I still think it's funny.