It's Not Just a Mug!

So I’m walking into the pokey and one of the Pre-Trial Services girls stops me and says, “We were just talking about you… and your issue with that coffee mug.”
“This mug? You know they don’t make this mug anymore.”
“And that’s what we mean,” she says with a roll of her eyes.
See, when something is as important to you as coffee is to me then the mode of transportation needs to be equally important. If I’m going to spend good money on good coffee then I can’t risk loosing a drop (I have been known to drink java that’s several days old). When your only form of liquid intake in an eight to twelve hour shift is coffee, joe, brew, mud, tar, mojo, black magic, etc. you want to keep it hot, fresh, and protected.
Let me tell you about this mug. It’s a Starbucks travel mug that cost $20. “Twenty freak’n dollars for a coffee mug?” you might say, but hear me out. It’s made of metal and is stainless steel inside. It is air, or coffee, tight and will not leak. Not a drop. I can pour coffee in this bad boy and six hours later it is still hot! This thing could probably deflect bullets, cure cancer, end world hunger, and bring peace to the Middle East. That’s a coffee mug!
Now sure, there’s been a time or two when said mug has been misplaced. And on those occasions some people might have construed my behavior as threatening or hostile, but look at it this way: this mug is my constant sidekick, at work, on the boat, on road trips… Hmm, they may have a point. I might see this mug more than I see my kids.